Translation of the song selfish artist HaKU

なんでか 太陽を避けてる

For some reason, I'm avoiding the sun

なんでか 影を追い始めた

For some reason, I've begun chasing shadows

上手い事 避(よ)けて来たもんだと

I've come, to put aside things I'm good at and

自分でも褒めてやりたいぐらい

It's me, but, I want to speak highly about that

相変わらず

As usual

こんな僕だけれど

I'm like this, but

それでも変わらずに

Still without change

愛し続けると

If I continue to love

言った 言わない 言った

I said I won't say I said

言わない 言ったの押し問答

I won't say I said back-and-forth

結局360°回転して元に戻る僕ら

Ultimately we circle 360° til we're back to square one

だけど なんか今回は

However, somehow, this time

いつもと違ってて

Different from usual

どっか 狂った歯車

In a way it's all gone to shit

僕は直せなかった

I was unable to fix it

嫌いになれないや

I can't get used to hating you

どうしたらいい 忘れたいよ

What the hell should I do? I want to forget!

半分は嘘だけどさ

One half was a lie, but, well

隣り合わせの真実は

The reality of sticking together

嘘にかくれてしまうんだ

Would be totally covered in lies

誰にだってあることだから

Because it's a thing that happens to everyone

そんなの通用しないと思っていた

I was thinking that kinda thing wouldn't apply to us

僕らだけ特別だって

Like only we were the exception

まるで人事(ひとごと)のように感じてた

Yet it felt just like everybody else's crap

全部がそう 全部

All of it, yeah, all of it

人肌恋しい

I'll miss your warmth

冷たい冬なんて

Winter is cold...

僕らには訪れないと信じてた

I believed our leaves would never turn

喜びも悲しみも 人並みに感じてる

Like most, I experience joy, and sadness too,

なのに あの季節が感じられない

But still, I can't deal with that season!

綺麗に消し去りたい

I want it cleanly erased away

埃一つ 残さないぐらい

Not even leaving a spec of dust

ふと瞳を閉じ 息を吸えば

Incidentally, if you shut your eyes, take a breath

四季折々に香る季節

Going season to season, you catch each seasonal aroma

残像となって思い出す

Remembering the imprint of it

嫌いになりたいよ

I can't get used to hating you

そんな事も出来やしない

I'm not easily able to even do such a thing

僕は情けない奴だろ

Maybe I'm a pathetic person

バカにされるんだ いつになっても

At any time I'll be looked down upon

嫌いになれないや

I can't get used to hating you

どうしたらいい 忘れたいよ

What the hell should I do? I want to forget!

半分は嘘だけどさ

One half was a lie, but, well

隣り合わせの真実は

The reality of sticking together

嘘にかくれてしまうんだ

Would be totally covered in lies

愛はどこにあんだ

Where is love?

僕にはまだみつけられないのかな

Maybe I still haven't been able to find it

愛はどこにあんだ

Where is love?

もしかしてもう手に入れて

If you stumble on it, give it to me already

飽きて捨てたのかい

Was it used and discarded?